Lysa, Me, Mandisa, Marybeth and Rachel.
Lately, I’m enjoying reading “Idol eyes” by Mandisa. I love what is says on the back cover of her book.
“I’m NOT the American Idol. I’m a plus size, thirty-year-old black woman whose heart belongs to Jesus.”
I have to shout,”A-men, sista” to that! From reading her book, and meeting her personally, I believe she is a true lover of Christ who is fulfilling her God-given dream…but it’s not the dream she loves best. It’s her God. And singing is not her Idol, it’s Jesus. You have to admire her for that. In fact, I’m drawn to her passion for Christ and her desire to keep Him first.
Honestly, I struggle with putting Christ first. It’s not that I don’t try. I do–everyday. But everyday something or someone jumps in first place. The result is guilt.
Take this morning for example. The alarm goes off and I jump, okay roll, out of bed, stumble into the kids bedrooms and wake them for school. Do I have a few minutes to say, “Good morning, Lord?” No.
My 11 year-old son demands that I pick out his clothes, not because he isn’t capable, he’s just tired. Besides, he debates, “I’m better at matching than he is.” Then, as I’m leaving his room, he informs that his math test needs signing.
Trying to find a pen at 6:15 in the morning without having coffee first is nearly impossible. Why? Because even though I buy boxes of pens, there is never one to be found. Where do they go? I think they must go wherever all the lost socks from the dryer go. So, I signed his test paper with an orange crayon. I wonder how many signatures his teacher has seen written in crayon over her many years of teaching? I hope more than one.
After fixing breakfast, packing lunchboxes, and pulling my teen-age daughter’s hair up into a ponytail, I finally have time to sit down at the computer and send out the Proverbs 31 Ministries daily devotion, Encouragement for Today.” Just as I push send, Peyton, shouts from the kitchen, “Let’s go, mom!”
As quickly as I could, I poured a cup of coffee, threw on my house shoes, grabbed the keys and taxied her to school.
Upon returning home, I had now been awake for two hours. I poured another cup of coffee and set down on the living room couch with my bible. A funny thing happened. God met me there.
I think sometimes I tend put rules and regulations on myself that can bring guilt and commendation. God never intended spending time with Him to be a ritual that has to be done at a certain time each day. I think it just matters that I find time to meet with Him before the day is done.
No matter what time of day it is prayer always does the same thing. It soothes away my worries and concerns, it helps me focus on what’s important in life, and it allows me to see God for who He is in comparison to myself. Besides the thing that fuels my passion most is falling in love with God more and more each day through prayer.
I’ve decided. I can’t let guilt rob me of meeting with God when I can. If I do, I’ll soon began to idolize something else in my life instead of Him. Like Mandisa, I only want eyes for Jesus…morning, noon and night.
Until next time…God bless
Leah @ Point Ministries says
It is so comforting to know that others struggle just like I do. I do feel guilty when I don’t begin my day with my Lord. Usually if I don’t spend time with Jesus first thing in the morning, the rest of the day gets away and I haven’t spent that time with Him at all. Thankfully, it doesn’t happen often, but any is more than I like.
I think part of my guilt when I don’t have my time with the Lord first thing in the morning ( or at all ) comes from thinking about what I miss that day by not communicating with Him in an intimate time–just He and I.
Satan wants us to feel shame and he will use anything, anything to get us to feel it–even something like missing time with Jesus.
Thank you again for being so transparent!! You blessed me!!
Leah
http://www.thepoint-leah.blogspot.com
Sisterlisa says
Micca, that was vulnerable of you to share your transparency with us. We all have mornings like that and it’s so nice to hear how God spoke to you through that. ((hugs))
Sisterlisa
http://ourapplesofgold.blogspot.com