Good advice “digging for pearls.” We do need to give our husbands time to adjust boxes, or drawers, when we need to discuss the kids and he’s in his football box. We also need to learn to stay in one box when communicating with our spouse. Like spaghetti, we tend to whirl in and out of different subjects causing our husbands to jump from box to box. When that happens, he doesn’t have a clue what the real point of your conversation is. So ladies pick a topic and stay in the box. You’ll get the feedback you’re looking for.
My husband and I also discovered that our differences, though difficult at times, really complete one another. This is just what God intended. Let’s look at this verse:
“So Adam gave names to all cattle, to the birds of the air, and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper comparable to him.” (Genesis 2:20)
Did you see that God created a unique alone-ness in Adam that only Eve could fill? She was suited for Adam, and him alone. You complete your spouse like no other and visa versa.
My husband is an accountant with a personality! Though he is very funny and relational, he is also very conservative. I, on the other hand, love adventure. I’m what most would call a free-spirit. I’m sanguine through and through!
When we met, I loved that he was calm and steady. Most sanguines need stability in their lives. Of course, I loved other things about him too…like his tight buns from playing so much tennis, his sparkling blue eyes, and the fact that he could always make me laugh…something I love to do.
After we were married, these things that first attracted me to my husband began to annoy me. I wanted to spend money, he wanted to save money. I wanted to take extravagant vacations, he wanted to go to the same safe place every year. So on and so on…. I’m thinking…”opposites do at attract, but how on earth do they live together!”
We began to annoy one another so much so that once when I was pregnant I asked, “Do you have to do that?”
“Do what?” he responded
We laugh about that now.
Another time, I wanting something new for the house and he wouldn’t let me get it. In order to blow of steam, I dusted. Well, I couldn’t shop. While I was dusting the top of our tall boy dresser, 7 one hundred dollar bills came floating down on top of me. My first evil thought was to rush to the store and purchase that item I wanted, but instead I called my husband. He had told me we didn’t have any money. Now, I had caught him in a lie…or so I thought.
It turned out that we still didn’t have any money. The seven hundred dollars was the money he had been saving toward our family vacation. When I pondered the situation, I honestly rather had the money to go on vacation and build family memories than put it into a piece of furniture. If he had let me have my way, I would have chosen the furniture over the vacation at first. Sanguines tend to act on the spur of the moment only to regret it latter.
While my husband and I are different, and it can be difficult at times, I’m thankful. We truly complete one another, and in the long run I’m glad. He truly is strong where I am weak and I am strong where he is weak.
In what ways do you and your spouse complete one another?
How can you learn to be thankful for your differences instead of annoyed? Can you see how the differences fill in your gaps?