Somewhere along the way, I’ve lost what “normal” is. I can’t remember what it looks or feels like. I know it’s a place I want to get to and settle on leaving behind the stress and craziness of life. I’m pretty sure I’ve been there before. I tell my family and friends that I’ll catch up when life gets back to “normal.” I tell myself that I won’t feel as tired or the kids won’t seem so annoying when things are “normal” again. So, I wait. I wait for things to be “normal.” I wait and I wait. Then, I wait some more. Yet “normal” never comes. Could it be that my life is already “normal”?” Maybe being abnormal is “normal.” Hummm…let’s see. You might be normal if…
You show up at the dentist on the right day but the wrong month for your appointment.
You might be normal if you forget to pick your child up from school twice in the same week.
You might be normal if you find yourself on a plane going to Boston when you’re destination is Virginia.
You might be normal if you’ve ever pumped gas with the back of your skirt tucked into your underwear.
You might be normal if you accidentally go grocery shopping on Senior Citizen day.
You might be normal if you mistake a conversation about the legendary baseball player Yogi Berra’s famous sayings for those of Yogi Bear by joining the conversation with “Hey, hey Boo-boo!”
You might be normal if you hold your mouth open while applying mascara.
You might be normal if you turn down the volume on the radio while looking for an address.
You might be normal if you sit down beside the wrong person at the movie theater and help yourself to their popcorn before you realize you’re hand is in the wrong bag because your bottom is in the wrong seat!
You might be normal if your legs turn red and swollen after a home waxing.
You might be normal if your bra size has gone from a 36 C to a 36 long.
And, you may be normal if your legs clap for you when you walk.
The above statements are all true experiences. That could only mean one thing.
According to my life, “abnormal” is the “norm.” What about you?
Bonita says
You are hilarious, girl! I love the ones about the movie theater and the bra size!
Amy Wyatt says
These made me laugh out loud! Thanks for the chuckle.
ocean mommy says
These are so stinkin’ funny!!!
And I must be a pretty normal girl!!
MelissaTaylor.org says
Micca,
I’m still waiting for things to get back to “normal”. It’s not going to happen is it?
I have one more for ya: You might be normal if you pull your dress up to fix your pantyhose in a glass elevator in front of a restaurant dinner crowd? (Was that one on there?)
I love you Micca! Thanks for keeping life light, fun, and “normal”!
Love,
Melissa
Laura says
Gasp! Would you please stop talking about me??? Ha! I could check off more than one of those embarrassing incidents, much to my chagrin! You are a REAL woman, my friend! My spirit always seems to testify with your words! Thanks for the laugh!
Charlene Kidd says
Micca,
I am always looking for normal. We have a saying at our house; “There is never a dull moment at the Kidd’s”, so for us normal is whatever we are going through at that time!!
Blessings.
Marybeth says
You might be normal if you write on your blog that you are happy to have a normal week one day, only to break your foot in two places that very night and have your whole life turned upside down. Life comes at you fast as the commercials say.
I like the book title, “Normal is just a setting on the dryer.”