Ever since Eve said to Adam, “Here dummy eat this.” And Adam replied, “Okay.” Women have been in charge. This is not God’s plan. In fact it’s not God’s plan for anyone to be “in charge” at all. In marriage, each sex has roles and responsibilities given by God. We find these roles in Eph 5:22-28.
“ Wives, submit to your husband’s as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
The first thing we notice when reading about the woman’s role is that ugly “s” word—submit. Submission means to “yield.” In other words, as women we are to “yield” to our husband’s leadership. I know that’s a hard role to fulfill, but read on. You might just change your mind!
Secondly, God’s order is revealed as He clearly establishes headship. Christ is the head of the church and man is the head of the woman. Hangth thou in there, woman!
Finally, God thought it was best to repeat His instructions. Again, it’s stated that women should submit to their husbands.
It’s important to note that God never intended man to “master” or “lord” over woman. No one wants to submit to that kind of authority. Man is not the “rule maker” or the “boss” of woman and their home. This is NOT the correct interpretation of these verses. Instead, (and here comes the good part ladies) man is to love his wife as Christ loved the church!
“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.”
How did Christ love the church? He died for it!! Even though Christ is Lord and Master of all things great and small, he doesn’t force us to obey. There are times I wished He would make me obey, but He never will. Christ is about relationship. God isn’t the master over Jesus. Jesus is God’s Son. He obeyed His Father out of love. Christ’s desire is that we love and trust Him. If we believe that He has our best interest at heart, we will submit to His leadership. We will call Him Lord. Remember that Christ came to serve the church. Therefore, He is a servant-leader who gave himself up for the church.
Likewise, God calls the husband to be a server-leader. He is to sacrificially place his rights, attitudes, and desires to the side in order to maximize his wife’s abilities (through the washing of the word) and care for her and the family’s needs. He is to love her more than himself.
Now, let me ask you. If your husband considered your needs and the family’s needs before his own; If he sought your thoughts and desires when making decisions for the family while seeking God in prayer, wouldn’t you submit and follow his lead? Of course you would!
My sweet husband considers my thoughts and needs on every decision facing our marriage and our family. Because he does, I can be confident that he will make the right choice for our family. To be honest, I haven’t always agreed with his final decision. Sometimes, my disapproval was foolish. Others times, I was right. However, I must remember that God doesn’t’ hold me accountable but my husband for the choices he makes for our family—right or wrong. Usually, my husband is quick to fix a wrong decision. What good would it do if I nagged him about it? Nothing. On the other hand, respecting him builds confidence and equips him in fulfilling his role as servant-leader.
What’s amazing about this process is as one sex fulfills their role; it causes an automatic response from the other spouse.
Ladies, I know that your greatest desire is for your husband to be the spiritual leader of your home. Honor God and submit to your husband even if he’s not there yet. A man’s greatest need is to be respected. When we honor our husbands, we help them grow in their God-given role.