Today, we are discussing her newest book, Season of Change. I know that you will be blessed by Rebecca’s wisdom and insight of the ‘middle’ years.
Rebecca, you talk about forgiveness as your book begins. How is forgiveness an important part of our child’s season of change?
RIP: You know, Micca, as my daughter began to make her way through those years, and that’s been five years ago, now, I was reminded of people, events, and situations that occurred during my own season of change. It brought back a lot of hurts, and I realized that there were some things that, twenty-five years later, I still hadn’t let go of.
Seeing our children walk through some of the same things that we experienced not only brings those memories back to life, it magnifies them. And I think that God uses those often painful memories to help us take an assessment of where we really stand in the forgiveness department. Once we’re sure that we have forgiven others, we can lead the way in helping our kids forgive the hurts that they are going to face from other people. Adolescence is a hurtful time, and usually, the ones who are doing the hurting are the ones who are, themselves, hurting the most.
One thing I really liked about Season of Change were the “toolboxes” that are a part of every chapter. This is where you’re offering some really practical tips for parents. You did include one on forgiveness. Would you share with my readers some of those tips?
RIP: Sure! Forgiving others starts when we realize the truth of Romans 3:23: For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God. Everyone has sinned, and everyone needs forgiveness. We need to first confess our own sins to God.
Next, we need to open our hearts to the reality of His mercy and grace. No matter what you’ve done, forgiveness is yours for the asking, all because of Jesus! Realizing how much we have been forgiven, through Christ, makes it easier to forgive others who have hurt us.
And I do think we need to remind ourselves by making vocal confession, on a daily basis if necessary. For example, say out loud, “I’m not perfect. Jesus has forgiven me of so much. I have forgiven _________ for what she did to me.” Take a moment to let it sink in! You’re forgiven! You can forgive, too!
Rebecca, what are some of the ways we can help our daughters with what’s becoming known now as “girl politics”?
RIP: There are three things that moms can do to help:
(1) Get involved. When moms have an open network that seeks everyone’s participation, girls often follow suit. If a girl is bullying or being bullied–online or in person–strong, parental involvement can be essential for changing things.
(2) Give her perspective. The “in” and “out” of the crowd is a revolving door. What seems like life or death drama today will often be forgotten by next week.
(3) Graciously influence. A Christian mom’s influence can reach far beyond her family. Open your home to your daughter’s friends, and encourage her to be a peacemaker when “catfights” occur.
Thanks for opening your home on the web to me, Micca!
Rebecca, thanks for dropping by! Rebecca’s book, Season of Change: Parenting Your Middle Schooler with Passion and Purpose, is available from Proverbs 31 Ministries! Order your copy today!