I’m sad today. It’s not post sickness blues either. My heart is breaking for a mom I know. I first met this lady at Davidson Academy where our sons attended school together. After a few short years of knowing this family, tragedy struck. Cancer took the life of her young husband—leaving behind his wife and three children—two boys and a girl.
Having experienced the loss of my spouse too, I could identify with her grief. Yet, while my days grew brighter, hers grew darker. She and her children have encountered one hardship after another. It’s almost as if they can’t escape trouble. It follows them wherever they go. While I don’t feel at liberty to share all their misfortunes, I will share this one…
Last weekend, this mother lost her son. Word spread quickly that he had been shot in the neck in his room at school. He was rushed to the hospital, identified the shooter, and then died after surgery. It was his senior year of college. He had his whole life ahead of him. And then, just like that—it was gone. This time, I can’t imagine her grief. What I can do is pray for her. I would like to ask you to pray, too.
This is one of those situations that cause us to ask, “Why, God?” Or maybe the question for you goes something like this: “If God is good, loving, and in control of all things, why do bad things happen to good people?”
I’m not sure I’ve found the answer or at least the total answer, but allow me to share an excerpt from my book that might help.
“Each person in some way has tasted the bitterness of sorrow and tragedy. In spite of all that, this was never God’s plan. In His original blue-print, God didn’t design disease, exploitation, uncertainty, combat, sickness or death. These are the results of living in a fallen, broken, sin-sick world. Everything God created he said was “Good.” Then sin entered in and we’ve been a wild generation ever since.”
The message here is that God’s heart breaks too when a loved one dies. He is saddened when a child is abused, when the elderly is mistreated, when war breaks out, and when our children’s schools are overtaken by teenagers with shotguns. This was never His plan.
May I share more from my book?
“Peter suggests that our sufferings can come either from good or from evil. This is how Peter says it. “It’s better, if it is God’s will, to suffer for doing good than evil” (I Peter 3:17). Don’t misunderstand. Suffering is not always our fault! Our pain can be the result of our own rebellion or the rebellion of others. It can also be the product of a close relationship with God in which we are persecuted for our faith. Sometimes it simply comes from living in a fallen world.”
Here’s what I want us to get…
“The only way to see worth in our pain is to realize it has purpose. Though we despise suffering, it educates us, transforms us, allows us to share in the inheritance of Christ, and give us a ministry of compassion for others who suffer. This is God’s promise. “God causes all things to work together for good for those whom He loves and are called according to His purpose.”
Yes, it takes time to see and experience the benefit. Once we do, we come to realize that “time isn’t what heals our pain. Time is the pathway that leads to the Healer of pain.”
Praying for this mom….
Deanna says
I’m praying for this mom and her other children.
Cindy says
I’ll pray for this mom and her family too. I know people like this and it’s difficult to understand why so much hardship and it’s hard to even know what to say to them.
Busy Mom says
What a thoughtful and caring post. Such good words of encouragment. I will pray for your special friend. How hard this must all be for her and her family but I trust she is surrounded by a loving church, family and friends that will help her through this.
Edie says
I have already lifted this family up to God for His comfort and presence to be felt.
I have just recently started reading your book and doing the study. Something you said in this post struck me.
“It’s almost as if they can’t escape trouble. It follows them wherever they go.”
I just wrote a post about the part in your book that discusses Psalm 23:6. Goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life.
I have prayed that this family will be fully aware of His Goodness and Mercy following them even in the midst of this trial.
Rich blessings to you.
Renee Swope says
I am praying for this precious family and heart-broken mom. Micca, you have so powerfully addressed the questions that linger in our hearts at times like these.
I love what Edie shared and prayed, too.
Hope you are feeling better!
Renee
Angela @ Refresh My Soul Blog says
You know I love that last quote the best!!! I am lifting a prayer as well. I cannot tell you how thankful I am of all the things God is and has taught me through pain. I am finally getting to read your book Micca and am so blessed. YOu are so gifted and I am so blessed to have a friend in you!
Much love,
Angela
Lelia Chealey says
Ugggh! I can't and don't want to imagine either one of the heartaches the both of you have endured. When I posted on a chapter of your book a few weeks ago, I shared about a family here in Nebraska, the Ford's, who lost 2 kids in 2 separate car accidents. Their 16yro daughter on Monday, May 4th and their 21 yro son on Monday, May 11th, 2 days after his sister's funeral. They only have their 18 yro son left who was hurt in the accident but survived. Life changed forever. So tragic. So the week that happened, the chapter in your book really went with it.
Fair Trade Shop says
I too have lost a precious child. He had just turned 19, when he died unexpectedly. The pain resurfaces again and again. It is impossible to be thankful, in my own strength, when a part of myself has been severed. I hold tightly to the thought of my dear child being in my Father's care, rather than suffering the pain he had in this life. I dream about the time when I will be able to hold my child again. God blessed me with many. many "reminders" that He was and is sharing my incredible sadness. I can't imagine "HOW" our Lord willingly and purposefully sacrificed His son, our Lord ,Jesus Christ and knowingly allowed Him to suffer such a painful death. Imagine how we as mother's do everything we can to protect our children from skinned knees. I know God shares my pain because He too suffered the pain of losing a son. I too know that He will share my joy knowing we will be reunited. I ask for your prayers as we move towards my son's birthday and the 2nd anniversary date of his death. I too pray for all the families who have suffered the incredible loss of a child. It is only by God's grace that we survive this pain and are able to use it to motivate us to do God's will today, as we know the time here is very short.