Sex is God’s idea. And it’s a good one. Everybody wants in on it especially the marketing industry. Why? Sex sells. Advertisements use sex to sell anything from a hamburger to a Caribbean cruise. According to a FamilyLife resource, sex has become a cultural obsession, but the picture of sex that our culture paints is a cheap counterfeit and a perversion of God’s original design.
Hi, I’m glad you stopped by today. I hope you’ve had the chance to read my devotion, The Sticker Book. Let’s be honest. We’ve all struggled with this topic. Growing up, most of us received a poor sex education. What we do know or have experienced has been twisted by our culture. Schoolgirls today have a false perception that sex is how to keep a boyfriend. Guys, on the other hand, tend to think if I get married I can have sex any time I want it. (Yeah right.) Since sex is God’s idea for the married couple, let’s consider what He has to say about it.
God not only created sex…
“For this cause a man shall leave his father and his mother and shall cleave to his wife; and they shall become one flesh” (Gen 2:24)
…He did so for a reason.
1.) Procreation: “And God blessed Adam and Eve and said to them, ‘Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth’” (Gen 1:28).
The family is God’s choice for passing His Word from one generation to another. Wow!
2.) Pleasure: “Let you fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love” (Proverbs 5:18-19).
Sex is NOT a sin nor is it dirty. It’s meant to be pleasurable.
3.) Protection: “But because of immoralities, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own husband. Let the husband fulfill his duty to his wife, and likewise also the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise the husband does not have authority over his own body but the wife does. Stop depriving one another exept by agreement for a time that you may devote yourselves to prayer, and come together again lest Satan tempt you because o f your lack of control” (1 Corinthians 7:2-5).
Sex is intended to protect a husband and wife from temptation. Failure to sexually satisfy each other in a marriage may lead to a spouse looking outside of marriage for fulfillment. Sex is meant to PROTECT one another.
What if I’m not married?
Premarital sex is so common in our culture today that some people who remain pure until marriage are considered “old-fashion.” But God has your best interest in mind when He commanded us to wait and not engage in fornication. He wants us to experience the absolute best, rather than a poor counterfeit.
How do we cope with differences?
According to FamilyLife, men and women approach sex differently. Here’s how they map it out.
Attitude:
Men—Physical, Compartmentalized
Women—Relational, Wholistic
Stimulation:
Men—Body centered, Sight, Smell, Actions
Women—Person centered, Touch, Attitudes, Words
Needs:
Men—Respect, To be physically needed, Physical expression
Women—Respect, To be emotionally needed, Relational intimacy
Sexual Response:
Men—Acyclical, Quick excitement, Difficult to distract
Women—Cyclical, Slow excitement, Easily distracted
Orgasm:
Men—Shorter, more intense, Physically oriented
Women—Longer, more in-depth, emotionally oriented
You would think God would have made us more compatible. Hope this helps! Don’t be afraid to talk it over with your spouse. Perhaps as you shop together for a sticker book.
Wendy B. says
Hi Micca,
Just wanted to let you know that when I read your devotional for today I felt like God himself was uttering the words to me. And it was and eye opener. It was exactly what I needed to "hear" this morning.
Thanks for sharing and being so open. God bless.
Josey Bozzo says
Micca,
I just have to tell you thank you for this post and the devotion. When I first read the scripture reference at the beginning of the devotion I was a little confused. Then I actually chuckled out loud when I got to the part with your husband. This has been an issue in my marriage for 15 years. One I regret whole heartedly. I prayed again yesterday to be the wife my husband needs. Then this morning I read your words and it's like a little nudge from God.
Thank you again for the devotion and the informative post on your blog.
Josey
jbozzoblog.blogspot.com
Josey Bozzo says
Micca,
Just wanted to let you know that I have posted a link to your devotion and your blog on my blog today. I think people need to read your words today.
Josey
jbozzoblog.blogspot.com
Anita - Soaring Eagle says
As a couple in their 50's I just want to agree with you 100%. It is great to be able to "enJOY" a romantic dinner, etc. even though we have been married 20 years. We both exercise, eat right, but most important put GOD first. We love each other because HE first loved us. We are HIS temples and we must take good care of them for we can take care of each other! Thank you for your post and I hope you can feel your sticker book.
Bethany from Confessions of an Organized Homeschool Mom says
I had to laugh when I read your P31 devotional today. Honestly, I don't think I would have reacted to my hubby very positively if he had given me a sticker book for that express purpose. I think the only time we ever got this whole thing right (for any length of time) was the first year or so we were married. If you promise not to tell anyone else, we've been married for 17 years & we're still struggling!!
Melanie says
Micca – Loved your devo! That made me crack up that your hubby thought of stickers… but hey anywhere you want to go is quite the motivator…i'm thinking Hawaii???Thank you for writing about this!
Mary Lou/WI says
Hi Micca,
I appreciated your devotional today. It made me cry due to I have a big problem in this area-I was abused as a little child 4 (yrs.old) to 20 (yrs.old). Due to the severity I ended up my youth as a young woman in psych wards.Everyone who doesn't have this probem to me in my eyes are very luck! I am really messed up because of this and still seeking counseling. I don't know if God will ever heal me completely from this-i'm 42 yrs old and still seeking Him to heal me so I can be normal again and enjoy sex with my husband for once in my life. The way it looks i probably be dealing with this till the day He takes me. Anyways, your devotional I agree is a good one-May God bless you and your ministry which are His obviously-It's good to see how others respond to this. I do enjoy your devotions-thank you for them.
Laura says
This is good stuff. I love the idea of a sticker book. 🙂 Although a vacuuming husband would be EVEN better. Thanks for your honesty here and for being so clear. Love the article and this blog post.
Cris Nole says
Thank you so much my friend for this post and devotional. God has truly given you a gift, I needed this message now more then ever. Love you my friend, see you really soon.
Cris
SADISTIC THE MOVIE says
you said you are too tired for sex – well try oral sex on your husband. Doesn't require as much energy. I'm not married, but I think it's unfair to deny your spouse at least oral sex because you are "too tired" – that goes for both men and women. Not meeting your spouse's sexual needs is a recipe for disaster, I think that's why people turn to porn and other partners
kalea_kane says
Hi Micca,
I REALLY enjoyed your devotional today. Sometimes I dread being romantic or physical with my husband, because I kind of have bod issues right now. Actually I don't kind of have them. Because I had weight gain due to illness, I am not comfortable in my skin. I do my best though to get beyond ME and focus on him. Knowing that my husband feels love, attractive and desirable is far more important to me than my image of me. It was a real blessing reading this today. THANKS!
Debbie says
Use the potty = a sticker. Give your husband sex = a sticker. Amazing! This is exactly the analogy I have give my husband over our 30 years of marriage! We, as women, are told to make sure our husband is satisfied in bed! Would you please tell me when the church is going to ackowledge the fact that we women have needs, as well? I'm left feeling used when two minutes of kissing is supposed to be all that is required for me to open my most intimate parts to my husband. You will tell me to "communicate my needs to him". Sorry, tried that, he's too insecure to hear that he is anything less than wonderful in bed.
So, Micca, your analogy of the potty and intercourse is spot on.
After sex, I feel very much like a toilet. Cold, empty, and not looking forward to the next "dump".
I think it is high time we stop giving women the "guilt trip" over sex and start educating men on the needs of women. I'm sick and tired of being the scapegoat for our less than fulfilling sex life!
PrairieMom says
It's funny how "sex" changes throughout the years. After being married 24 yrs. we define a romantic night together SO DIFFERENTLY. I loved that your article didn't make me feel like it was ALL ABOUT the sex, but more about intimacy & communication. Thanks for a great message!
Amy says
Sex might be GOD’s idea and I have to agree. But my husband of 43 years has a different idea. 30 years ago he decided he dosen’t want sex, love or intimacy any more. So he just stopped like turning off the water. I will admit that the first 13 years of marriage wasn’t a bowl of cheeries either. At first we had sex but he wasn’t into it, and he told me that he was doing it because I wanted it. I was so hurt and unappreciated that I couldn’t sleep with him. So he slept in a bedroom downstairs, where he still is. All he said was thanks for chasing him downstairs. From that time till now we don’t talk much to each other, we don’t eat dinner together. Were just separate people happen to live in the same house.