Thanks for visiting today. I’ve written on the topic of friendship to accompany my devotion, A Recipe for Relationships. (click on title to read devotion)
A practical step to take in developing a lifelong, intimate friendship is to BE a friend that is GOOD for another. That sounds simplistic but think about it. When I was a child my parents were very selective about who I spent time with. They didn’t want me around kids who would be a bad influence on me. Likewise, I want the same for my own children—good, healthy relationships.
We’re all looking for these kind of friendships, but are we the kind of people that others want to be friends with? Will others be better because they’ve spent time with us? Proverbs 27:17 says that as “Iron sharpens iron, one man sharpens the wits of another.” Are you the kind of person that sharpens your friends?
That’s the kind of friend that Jonathan was. Jonathan made David a better person. He encouraged him and helped him spiritually. He was good for David.
Today, to many people focus on outward appearance or prestige in others. But it’s real character that makes a someone worthy of friendship. The movie, Shrek, celebrates the worth of society’s undervalued people. It revolves around a boorish ogre, Shrek, who finds a friend in a talking donkey (voiced by Eddie Murphy) and unexpectedly falls in love with a princess (voiced by Cameron Diaz), whom he rescues from a castle. This fairytale spoof emphasizes how humans place too much importance on outward appearances.
After freeing the princess, Shrek and Donkey escort her back to the village in keeping with the prince’s orders. Because the journey is long, they decide to camp out. Around the campfire, Donkey talks to Shrek about what life will be like once they return to Shrek’s home, a humble swamp. Looking up at the sky, Donkey asks, “Hey Shrek, what are we going to do when we get back to our swamp, anyway?”
“Our swamp?” Shrek challenges. “There’s no our. There’s just me and my swamp, and the first thing I’m going to do is build a ten-foot wall around my land.”
Donkey is surprised. He thought they had developed a friendship that would result in sharing their lives and possessions once the quest was over.
“You cut me deep, Shrek!” Donkey confesses. “You cut me real deep just now. You know what I think? This whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody out.”
The two argue and exchange verbal jabs. At last Donkey asks, “Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that, okay?”
“Everyone! Okay?” Shrek exclaims.
“Hey, what’s your problem, Shrek? What you got against the whole world, anyway?”
The huge ogre seems almost childlike as he candidly explains, “I’m not the one with the problem. It’s the whole world that seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go ’Ahhh! Help! Run! It’s a big, stupid, ugly ogre!’ They judge me before they even know me. That’s why I’m better off alone.”
Donkey joins Shrek and says, “You know what? When we first met, I didn’t think you were just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.”
“Yeah, I know,” Shrek acknowledges with gratitude. For the first time he realizes someone has looked beyond his outward appearance and accepted him.
There’s an awful lot of people running around today who’ve isolated themselves from the rest of the world out of fear. Maybe you’re one of them. There’s good news: it can be different. You can have the kind of intimate friendship that David and Jonathan shared. You don’t have to be alone any longer. Instead, choose to be a Jonathan and ask God to give you one as well.
Sara F. says
Thanks for the post. I’ve suffered w/o for a long time out of fear, but over the past year or so, God has really opened my eyes to my needs as well as those of others. I think the biggest problem is getting past our own wall and being willing to be vulnerable. The fear of rejection is a big one.
kf says
Thank you for your word here and at P31 today, Micca.
My husband is a worship pastor and we’ve recently moved to a new church after a long tenure elsewhere. I’m grieving the loss of those friends who are now miles and miles away. My friends…my children’s friends…our family friends. It’s an encouraging message you share and a good reminder that friendships are indeed not only needed, but also good and God ordained. Somehow, as you’ve said, we’ve lost sight of the value of true, deep, intimate friendships. We’ve become more “private” (or dare I say self-absorbed). I have yet to be able to establish true friendships here–though everyone is more than friendly—no one really seems to want to be authentic or risk hurt by giving another a peek at their true self. Why is that? We women who have had and been a true “Jonathan friend” know how amazing that type of relationship can be—why does it seem that, for the most part, women no longer ache for such friendships? We are missing out on both being and receiving such huge blessings!!!
I will continue to open up and be on the lookout for such a friendship—it’s worth the risk–for the reward is so great! Thanks for the encouragement to keep at it!
AnnMarie says
I fully support what Sara F. has said. The fear of rejection and broken relationship has stopped from entering into an intimate relationship with other female. I am going to ask God to help me to overcome the fear and help me to develop characteristics to be a Johnathan. Thanks for the post.
claudine says
Hello, it is amazing how god works, for a few days I’ve been thinking about prov27:17.as I turn 40 on Feb 16, I count myself blessed as I have friends who encourage me spiritually to be more,,,in a good, godly way they provide me with accountability. the world sends messages that I am free to do or be or act however whenever and whatever way I want. my true friends do not. iron sharpened iron and I’m a better me bc of these special friends. tomorrow on the 16th I will have an opportunity to celebrate w them thanks for the verse! Blessings, Claudine
Marie says
This devotion came at such a perfect time for my household. My teenage daughter is struggling with where she fit’s in, she found a friend who she thought was her “Best” friend only to have many secrets shared with others, promises broken and their friendship is damaged as a result. I continued to excuse it in the past as “teen girl” stuff NO big deal they grow out of it, but the more my daughter is HURT the more I’m finding I am wrong. I hate this for my daughter and pray that she can find that friend like “Jonathan” what a blessing that would be. Thanks for your devotion….
Heather says
I’ve been thinking a lot about friendship lately, and I really enjoyed this very helpful post. Thank you.
Elaine says
Thank you. I’m in the midst of an imploded relationship that I refused to see was so unhealthy for me. I need the strength to walk away. I feel comforted in the reminder of Jonathan & David. I’m praying now for a “Jonathan” friend.
Elaine
Charlotte says
Thank you. Sometimes I tried so hard yet I feel unloved by friends. I really needed this encouragement… God bless!