I came across several video testimonies called, I’m Second, on YouTube. I want to share one with you today along with my own story. Why? Because being second not first in the “me-first” society is the secret to real life—life as God intended. Check this out…
For years, I held on to my mixed bag of emotions blaming God and others for my fear and fury. I was alone, afraid, and angry, not by my choice. I was this way because others gave up on me. Porter didn’t fight hard enough to stay alive. And God—well, if He really cared then why didn’t He free me from the feelings that haunted me day and night?
Over time my eyes were opened to the real problem. Instead of looking at myself, my eyes were always on someone else. When I finally did take a good long look at myself, I realized that I was a spoiled-rotten child of God who had stomped my foot, crossed my arms, and turned my back on God, but it wasn’t going to bring Porter back. Nor was I allowing God to express His love toward me and heal my wounds. In that honest moment with myself, I let go of my anger and fear and re-opened my heart to God.
Letting go is hard. It demands that we let go of something we value—not like a piece of jewelry- but our fears, our pride, or perhaps a sense of justice or revenge. It’s scary to let go of such things. But I wanted change—real change. I didn’t want to be afraid anymore. Fear only caused me to mistrust and lash out against those who loved me. So, I knelt down beside my bed and prayed. This time my prayer wasn’t about what others had or hadn’t done in life, it was about what I had done. I had sinned by doubting God’s love. To see myself there is to see myself outside of the scope of God’s grace. Doubting God’s provision had separated me from the only one who could help me. The bible says, “Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him” (Hebrews 11:6). Broken before God, I asked for His forgiveness. I surrendered anew to His plan for my life. What was God’s response? It was pure grace. I got up from my knees a new person. I was no longer afraid or angry—just filled with God’s love.
I’m Micca Campbell. And I am second.