It happened again yesterday. Someone said, “I love your blog, but I love you more in person. Your personality really shines–in person.” This statement made me think.
The truth is I find it difficult to let my personality loose on the pages of my blog. It’s too risky. Too revealing. Too scary. If I let my personality have its way, I might prove this southern girl is nothing more than a redneck. For example, if I told you about the time I hung my daughter’s bathing suit out of the car window to dry, you might call me a redneck. But, hey. It worked. Doesn’t that make me a genius? My daughter didn’t think so even though she appreciated a dry suit.
What if I wrote about the time I was in labor with my second child and the epidural didn’t work. Or, so I thought. The only thing that felt numb was the big toe on my right foot. As they wheeled me down the hall to the operating room, I screamed repeatedly, “I’m not numb! I’m not numb!”
Since I was having a C-section, I felt this was prudent information. However, no matter whom I told, the nurse, the doctor, or the anesthesiologist, they would just look at me, nod their head and smile. Little did I know that while I was complaining (with grace and dignity, of course), the medicine had taken hold and the doctor had delivered my beautiful daughter! All was right in the world until the next morning. I woke up with a severe reaction to the epidural. I had the reddish, itchiest rash EVER! It should have been a sign. At times, my daughter can still give a rash. (smiles)
What if I were brave enough to tell you that I talk to God each day as if He were with me wherever I go.
Well, isn’t he?
I might say, “Good morning, Lord. Thank you for another day.” Or, “Lord, help me love that child today before I kill’em!”
When I drive, I often pray for others. “Lord, bless that couple in the car beside me. I don’t know them, but you do. Whatever their need, I ask you to be their Provider.” Or I might say to the Lord, “When I drive by and the light is on, I know you want me to get at least a dozen.”
By talking with God as if He’s a live in friend, helps me see His activity in my life. Besides, the bible says there is nowhere I can go away from His presence so why not acknowledge Him there! It brings me great comfort doing so.
Displaying my personality in print isn’t easy for me. I guess it seems risky. It’s much easier to tell if someone is tracking with you or not when you’re face to face. Writing is a different story. You can’t hear if I’m joking. You can’t sense my passion or fear. Ah! There’s a word, “fear.”
Bottom line, I fear being misunderstood so I play it safe. I listen to my inner critic say, “Don’t share too much of yourself. You can’t tell how they’ll respond.” So, I hold back. Maybe it’s time to tell my inner critic to take a hike and allow my personality to shine more in my writing as I do in my speaking. Isn’t that what blogging is about? …putting yourself, your thoughts and experiences in print. Yes, I believe it is. That’s why I chose to think out loud today.
Michele Caséca says
Dear sweet Micca,
I had this same impression too. When I knew you only through your blog and Facebook, I couldn’t imagine how sweet, and kind and funny you are!
Meeting you in person was amazing! You are really a wonderful person.
But you know what? I think it’s better than the other way around… if someone, after meeting you in person, would think: wow, she is not as sweet and kind as she was in the blog.
If I were you, I wouldn’t mind about it. We really need to be more careful and “play it safe” when people cannot actually see us, and feel us.
You are amazing. One of the most inspiring womem I have met.
Love you and I’m praying for you.
Mi
Barb Wall says
I love reading what you write!! You inspire me–to be a better person!!! I too talk to God all the time–I even do it out loud in the car!!!! Things in my world are a little bit out of place–please would you pray for my daughter Natalie and her sad situation. Blessings to you and thank you for making me laugh on my birthday!!! Barb Wall
Cheryl Townsend says
Thank you Micca for being transparent even on your blog. I really appreciate your Thinking Out Loud today. Isn’t that what “getting out of the boat” really is? Who cares if they can’t see or feel your smile or know when you’re joking? Your spirit, God’s spirit within you, will speak and touch just the right person in just the right way. I’m encouraging you so that it can be brought back to my attention when I need a push — like now. I had taken a summer break from blogging, and really, honestly, it takes courage to be your real self, especially in print. But we are in Him, right?
Thank you, thank you, thank you for choosing to Think and Live out loud. I look forward to meeting you in person. Refined Gold is tried and tested. And such are God’s Jewels. Shine on BOLDLY and BRIGHTLY!
Cheryl T
cate tuten says
Dear Micca…..I have loved you on your blog. In fact, I see you as open and real. The story you shared about your husbands burns and his death and the dreams you had caused me to order your book so I can read more. I can see your personality on the page. Maybe because I’m southern too and identify with you easily. Maybe because we both love the Lord and talk non-stop to Him. Maybe because you’re more real and honest in print than you realize. I can’t compare your writing to your speaking because I’ve never heard you speak even though I was at SheSpeaks this year but had to leave on Sat. night and missed your session on Sunday morning. Yet, I still have an opportunity to order your recorded session and I will because of how much I like what you have to say…….Keep writing and speaking for Him. And we will keep reading and listening…….Blessings, Cate Tuten
Dori says
Hi Micca,
I’ve been reading your blog for a few months now. I subscribed to it because I am inspired by your story. This post has hit home for me because I feel that I also play it safe but oddly it is with my face to face relationships and not my writing. Thank you for candidly sharing this part of you with us, your readers. From what I’ve read about your story and your writing (especially loved your references to being a “redneck”; all seemed normal living to me!), you have a beautiful heart. God bless you abundantly!
Cheryl says
You’ve been through so much and your heart of praise shines through your writing. Thank you for guiding our hearts to praise.