It happened again yesterday. Someone said, “I love your blog, but I love you more in person. Your personality really shines–in person.” This statement made me think.
The truth is I find it difficult to let my personality loose on the pages of my blog. It’s too risky. Too revealing. Too scary. If I let my personality have its way, I might prove this southern girl is nothing more than a redneck. For example, if I told you about the time I hung my daughter’s bathing suit out of the car window to dry, you might call me a redneck. But, hey. It worked. Doesn’t that make me a genius? My daughter didn’t think so even though she appreciated a dry suit.
What if I wrote about the time I was in labor with my second child and the epidural didn’t work. Or, so I thought. The only thing that felt numb was the big toe on my right foot. As they wheeled me down the hall to the operating room, I screamed repeatedly, “I’m not numb! I’m not numb!”
Since I was having a C-section, I felt this was prudent information. However, no matter whom I told, the nurse, the doctor, or the anesthesiologist, they would just look at me, nod their head and smile. Little did I know that while I was complaining (with grace and dignity, of course), the medicine had taken hold and the doctor had delivered my beautiful daughter! All was right in the world until the next morning. I woke up with a severe reaction to the epidural. I had the reddish, itchiest rash EVER! It should have been a sign. At times, my daughter can still give a rash. (smiles)
What if I were brave enough to tell you that I talk to God each day as if He were with me wherever I go.
Well, isn’t he?
I might say, “Good morning, Lord. Thank you for another day.” Or, “Lord, help me love that child today before I kill’em!”
When I drive, I often pray for others. “Lord, bless that couple in the car beside me. I don’t know them, but you do. Whatever their need, I ask you to be their Provider.” Or I might say to the Lord, “When I drive by and the light is on, I know you want me to get at least a dozen.”
By talking with God as if He’s a live in friend, helps me see His activity in my life. Besides, the bible says there is nowhere I can go away from His presence so why not acknowledge Him there! It brings me great comfort doing so.
Displaying my personality in print isn’t easy for me. I guess it seems risky. It’s much easier to tell if someone is tracking with you or not when you’re face to face. Writing is a different story. You can’t hear if I’m joking. You can’t sense my passion or fear. Ah! There’s a word, “fear.”
Bottom line, I fear being misunderstood so I play it safe. I listen to my inner critic say, “Don’t share too much of yourself. You can’t tell how they’ll respond.” So, I hold back. Maybe it’s time to tell my inner critic to take a hike and allow my personality to shine more in my writing as I do in my speaking. Isn’t that what blogging is about? …putting yourself, your thoughts and experiences in print. Yes, I believe it is. That’s why I chose to think out loud today.