I hated it when he had to be gone for a whole week. It seemed like an eternity, and I missed him terribly. In fact, I missed him before he ever left. Parting was such agony. I would kiss and hug him again and again trying to store up enough affection that would last me until he returned. It was never enough. As soon as Porter drove away, it felt as if someone had torn him from my side. I would mope around the apartment thinking about him and wonder if he was thinking about me. I missed his laugh, I missed him coming home at night, I missed seeing and touching him.
When he returned home, our reunion was such bliss. I was always waiting on him to arrive in his company parking lot. Porter was my whole world.
When he died, I felt betrayed by God. For a while, I turned my back on my faith because it felt as if God had turned His back on me. Sound familiar to anyone?
My emotions often told me I was alone in my pain and that my grief over the death of Porter would never end. During the day, I could control my feelings. There was much to do that would occupy my mind. When night fell, all appeared cold, lonely, and depressing. I used sleep like a drug. I would escape from my heartache and drift into the unconsciousness of slumber land. This was no way to live. I had to make a choice.
Like many, I could have given up on life, remained in my grief, hardened my heart, and given way to bitterness. Instead, I decided to give God a second change. I learned to trust Him, again.
You can too.
The truth is, throughout the ages, God has always been near to the broken-hearted, and still is today. From the cloud in your storm, God is leading, protecting, and providing for you, too, no matter what your emotions say.
While this tragedy caused me to doubt God’s love and promises, I had to trust God over my emotions. That was my first step toward trusting God, again. It took me awhile, but eventually I learned to say, “Lord, this is not what I planed or even what I want, but I trust you.” Submitting to God’s will in that way allowed peace to flood my entire being. Besides, God promised that Porter and I would meet again. Not on this earth, but in our heavenly home. Only this time, he’ll be waiting for me.
If some situation or heartache has caused you to doubt God’s love and provision, will take a step of faith today? Will you choose to trust Him over your emotions? If you do, your heavenly Father will take it from there…
To read my story, click on Micca’s story above.
If you need prayer today, would you leave a comment? You don’t have to go into details. Just say, “I need prayer,” and I will gladly lift you to the Father’s throne.
Be sure and visit again tomorrow! I will have a guest posting tomorrow—my dear friend, Karen Barrows, and she will bless your heart!