Even though I’m remarried, I remember what it was like being a single parent. There were days I wished I could sleep, or had a night off from giving a bath. It’s a tough job parenting alone so this post is for all the single parents. I hope that Jennifer’s tips equip and encourage you!
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At times, it’ll feel like the hardest thing you’ve ever done. You’ll be forced to make decisions you never wanted to contemplate, and to rely on strength you didn’t even know you had. These practical tips for newly single parents will help you persevere through the challenges you face and gain a renewed sense of hope and personal strength for the days ahead.
1. Develop a Support Network
This is absolutely crucial. You need to know who you can depend on right now. Most likely, this network includes your immediate family and friends, but think about other people in your life who might also help you. Making an actual list of who these people are can help remind you that you’re not alone.
2. Schedule Time to Be Alone
“Me time” is a very powerful tool. It will bring you healing, hope, and perspective. Right now, it’s important that you create pockets of time in your life when you can just be. Time when you’re not accountable for completing a task or responding to questions. Time to sit, to think, to ponder. This is one of the most important single parenting tips, and it’s one that you simply must make time for.
3. Think Outside the Box
If finding time to yourself sounds impossible, consider some creative solutions, like swapping babysitting time with a neighbor or waking up a half-hour before the rest of your household. The time that you give yourself is precious, and it will be fruitful in helping you to establish reserves of inner strength.
4. Be Present with Your Kids
When you’re with your children, make an effort to be emotionally present with them. It would be easy to retreat into your heart right now, but this is a time when your children truly need you more than ever. Simple activities like playing a board game or taking a walk together can go along way toward communicating the message that life will go on and they will, indeed, be okay.
Expressing your feelings is important to your overall health. Consider writing in a journal or scheduling a regular “date” with a friend to vent, cry, and grieve. Single parents are born of many different situations. Whether you’ve experienced the loss of a spouse, the end of a marriage, or an adjustment to the dream you once held for your life, it is important to grieve and process the loss before moving on.
6. Pay Attention to your Physical Health
This may be a time when you are feeling especially worn down and drained. Combat that by making the effort to eat healthy foods and choose energizing ways to fuel your body. Instead of relying on extra caffeine, try taking a walk at lunchtime. Additionally, getting adequate rest is crucial to your healing and ability to cope. Forgo the temptation to sit in front of the TV. Instead, read a book and retire early.
7. Identify What Gives You Strength
In the past, how have you handled challenging times in your life? What most energizes you and reminds you that you possess the strength needed to meet the current challenge? Focus on what has worked for you in the past
8. Focus on the Positive
This is a time of new growth in your life. Take the time to think about the things that are going well for you. Having a positive attitude – even in the midst of extreme circumstances – can empower you to move ahead and provide your children with a tangible example of the coping strategies you want them to adopt.
9. Ask for Help
Of all of the single parenting tips listed here, this one is probably the most difficult to apply. However, you must know that there really are people around you who would love to help! Keep in mind, too, that asking for help and letting others into your life is a gift to yourself and to the person assisting you. Sharing in one another’s lives during difficult times affirms our human connection and brings a sense of purpose to everyday living.
By Jennifer Wolf, About.com