Have you ever heard of Jeff Foxworthy’s “you might be a redneck …” jokes? Well, according to my family, it seems that I’m a “redneck.” After a silly incident today, they began reciting the many ways I’ve acted like a “redneck” in the past. I decided to create a top 10 list from their comments. Here we go….
10. You might be a redneck if you dry your daughter’s bathing suit by hanging it outside of the car window.
9. You might be a redneck if you hit yourself in the eye with a coat-hanger resulting in shiner! (I knew doing laundry was evil!)
8. You might be a redneck if you own a silver-plated toothpick. (Hey, I had braces you know)
7. You might be a redneck if you wait for your child’s teacher by their car after school. (He wouldn’t return my phone calls)
6. You might be a redneck if you clean your child’s face with your own saliva.
5. You might be a redneck if your tuck your skirt into the back of your underwear and then stop for gas on a four lane highway.
4. You might be a redneck when you show up at the dentist on the wrong day.
3. You might be a redneck if you forget to pick up your child at school twice in the same week.
2. You might be a redneck if you try to renew your driver’s license on Veterans’ Day. (And I thought the empty parking lot meant no long lines!)
1. Drum roll please… You might be a redneck if during a family devotion you threaten to rip off your child’s arm and hit him with it….in Jesus, Name.
(I promise I’ve never harmed my own child or any other.)
Easy my guilt and let me know I’m not alone by sharing some of your “redneck” moments. I’ll give away my Cd entitled, “Piecing It All Together” to the top “Redneck!” God knows, we “rednecks” need to get it together!
Ok Micca, first let me say I do not want a “redneck” idenity. Though I have experienced bruises from doing laundry and was most glad to hear someone else has as well! You know, I think I will just end here and continue to believe I’m just “unique” instead!
You might be a redneck if you show up for your doctors appointment…at the wrong doctor. This did not happen to me but a friend. She takes her parents to their doctors and they see many. She called me laughing her head off after walking out of the wrong doctors office with her dad.
By far I love your #1.
These were too funny Micca! Here’s mine…You might be a redneck if you send flowers and a card to your kids teachers, the week before “Teacher Appreciation Week” begins. It was a circus trying to get the kids in the car, not turn over the flowers, buckled in and then out of the car. I didn’t realize my faux pas until later in the morning, and I just cracked up. My tweenager was none too happy with me. Enjoy your day.
You might be a redneck if your Christmas tree is still up and decorated and plugged with lights and all on March 10th!
You might be a redneck if you have used a baby wipe for a bath!
When talking about your fear of bats, you catch a glimpse of the decorative tie on your sleeve and freak out!
You might be a redneck if you have to cross two cattle gaps on your mile long driveway. In addition, since the cows are sometimes in your 20 (acres that is), then you might have a cow looking in your window–that same cow might just back up to your car and smear manure from its behind on your driver’s side window.
Oh, how I LOVE living in the country!
Prayers and blessings,
Rebecca