The traffic was horrific. I could hardly wait to get home. The drive before me was long—eight hours to be exact. The week before I had been in Charlotte for our annual She Speaks conference. Then, I flew home long enough to pick up my daughter and drive to Indiana for an interview. All went well, but I told my daughter “when I get home, I’m not doing a thing.” I meant it too. That’s when my cell rang.
“Hey, what are you doing?” The caller asked. It was my friend, Mr. Shannon who runs the football club at my son’s high school. I’ve known him for years. He married one of my besties.
“I’m stuck in traffic.” I complained.
“I’m calling to make sure you’re going to be at the school tomorrow. You signed up to sell season passes.” He added.
I almost passed out right there on some bridge located in the middle of Indiana. How could I have forgotten? I thought to myself. It couldn’t be because I’m writing a book, just spent a week at a large conference, and took a road trip for a 15-minute spot on the Harvest Show. Not to mention I hadn’t slept in my own bed in the past nine days. How could it slip my mind? It did so because I said, “yes” to one more thing when I should have said, “no.” My schedule was already overcrowded, but like Lysa says in her book… I have a “disease to please.”
Everything inside of me said, just tell him. Explain that you simply can’t do one more thing. Even though you signed up, it was a mistake. You already have too much on your plate and what you really need is some good rest.
It sounded good in my head but what came out of my mouth was, “Sure. What time do I need to be there?” My daughter looked at me in disbelief and then shook her head. We practiced saying the word, “no” over the next couple of hours in the car.
The next day, I showed up at the high school to pick up my box of tickets, t-shirts, and money for change. As Shannon explained the instructions, I listened carefully. I even repeated them back before heading to my station. We have two elementary schools in our area that feed into the same high school—Madison Creek and Beech Elementary. I was to sell tickets at Madison Creek Elementary.
When I showed up, someone else was already working at the booth. He also had a box full of t-shirts and tickets.
“Did Shannon send you here with a box too?” questioned the worker.
“Yep. I don’t know why,” I answered. “I just do what I’m told.”
We had been selling our items for about an hour when Mr. Shannon called my cell.
“Hello?”
“Where are you?” asked Shannon.
“I’m at Madison Creek.” I responded with a matter of fact tone in my voice. The guy working beside me leaned over and whispered, “No, you’re not. You’re at Beech Elementary.”
Oops. (That would explain why we both were working the same spot.)
Panic set in.
Still on the cell with Mr. Shannon, he also infomed me of my whereabouts. “You can’t be at Madison Creek because that’s where I am and you’re not!” I wanted to fade into the brick wall behind me. After many apologies on my part, I left completely embarrassed!
How can a person be in one location but believe she is in another? Apparently, I can. And it’s not the first time I ended up where I didn’t belong. I’ll spare you the details and me the red face.
On the up side, I’m reading Lysa’s book, The Best Yes. For me it’s timely, and I believe it will be for many others. We live in such a busy, fast-paced world we don’t know if we’re coming or going. Our schedules are so full we leave no room for a divine assignment. I wonder if we would even hear it?
I’m learning that sometimes saying, “no” IS my best “yes.” That’s not all. When the rush of life pressures me, I close my eyes, take a deep breath, and pray, “Lord, unrush me.” Then I give myself permission to take a break and be still before God. That when something magical happens. The warmth of His Presence and the gift of His peace washes over me in those still, quiet moments. Eventually, I believe these moments can merge together creating a life unrushed.
GIVE AWAY!!!
If you can identify, then you need this book. It’s changing me and I like it. And because I’m so thrilled over Lysa’s message, I’m giving away 3 copies of The Best Yes. Leave a comment about why you need The Best Yes and you automatically enter to win! Good luck!
I have gotten better about saying no but want to be able to say yes to the right things.
Good Morning Micca, Enjoyed your story, and oh my this is so true, my daughter is a yes lady, she has four kids all in soccer at different areas which starts next week with the 1st day of school. She is also subs at her younger two kiddos school. She is head of the childrens church and teaches that and Sunday school teacher! She is always going here and there!! Her hubby says she doesnt need to say “yes” to everyone, but it is something she needs to work on some. She is always on the go and I know she takes time out for devotions and prayer but she really needs to hit the slow down button 🙂 Have a good day!!
I am always on the go! Teaching and Carpooling my girls to dance then here and there. I have recently started saying “no” to some things but feel guilty after I do it. I bet Lysa’s book would be a great resource for me.
Good Morning,
I really enjoyed this reading. I am such a yes lady. I too have the disease to please. I am a mom of two biological children and by the grace of God married and gained two more. I work full time well over 40 hours, I sing in several choirs trying to support my husbands music ministry. I attend at least two church services on Sundays. My Saturdays are filled with activities my husband plans, kids stuff, friends, or running errands. I manage a group of ladies at work and I have the hardest time saying no. My schedule is overfilled, my life is rush, rush, rush…in the mornings I try to have devotional time but I am normally so tired. I hate to admit I fall asleep sometimes reading the word…I feel so busy…but yet I feel so far away from God. I would really like this book because I never learned the art of saying no.
Micca, I’m in a funk. I think this book could be my ticket out of it. Thank you!
Micca,Why I need the best yes is because I’m learning to say “no” but still feel bad when I do. I think this would help. :). Thanks.
I too have a problem with saying “No,” as I’m a people pleaser… would love to learn better ways to say yes to the right things!
Good morning, Micca. I,too, have a problem with saying no. I want everyone to be happy and never want to give the apprearance that I do not want to help another person. I often spread myself too thin. There are days where I speeding from one place to another with only seconds to spare. All because I could not say no and double booked myself. I want to learn it’s okay to say no to some things; and that I am only one person. I can not say yes to everything and everyone.
Wow! I am going through this right now and have been for several years! I’m a mother of four wonderful sons aging from 12 to 23. I have a very supportive husband, who I’m sure would love for me to learn to say “No” to volunteering for extra activities. We have a beautiful daughter-in-law and adorable granddaughter. It seems there are NEVER enough hours in a day. Recently I felt God pulling at my heart and have become involved at church, which I definitely need, my soul was starving. I’m beginning a new job as a high school English teacher and know there will be many more demands. I need to learn when to say “Yes” and how to say “No.”
This devotion was very helpful and came at the perfect time!
I am a co-dependent enabler and have trouble wanting to plan and please everyone else into my way of life. It makes for frustration and unmet expectations. God has been working hard at helping me see when to say no and when to just plain get out of His way. Thanks for sharing and I would love to read Lysa’s book.
Yes Micca, I also have a “disease to please”. Newly single with my 82 year old mom and 25 year old daughter living with me, I also want to have a life of my own, so I am constantly saying yes to volunteer opportunities. I also work at a demanding job. Oh yes, and I have to cut the grass, clean the house, do the dishes, take the dog out, water the plants, take care of mom – you know, just the same things every busy woman does. I feel guilty when I sit to watch a show in my DVR.
Thanks for sharing your craziness.
I need to remember to PRAY before saying “yes,” to see if the task/opportunity/whatever is really what GOD wants for me, rather than just saying “yes” out of habit or because I want to please someone else. (Thank you for the tip about asking God to unrush you – I have the feeling I’ll be using that a lot in the next couple of weeks as I keep preparing my courses for the new semester!)
I, too, have a hard time saying no when I should. I don’t like to let people down. It has often gotten me so stressed that I can hardly think. I would love this book so that I can learn to decipher when I should say yes and when I should say no.
This book looks amazing! Thank you for sharing your words!
I’m learning that sometimes saying, “no” IS my best “yes.” –when I read that in the description, this is what I need to improve on and read about!!
You would think learning to say no would be easier the older you get. As I read your blog I remember those days of being so involved in everything thinking if I didn’t I wasn’t a good mother. My children are adults and have their own children. Being a faithful worker breeds more work. I many times think “if I say no what will others think, or who else will do this?” (Pride).
A trap I am learning not to get caught in. It’s tempting because the bait strokes our personalities and makes us valuable. I am learning to take time to before I give an immediate answer. There are and will be needs but am I the one who always has to fill them? If I do think I have “to do it all” what are motives? I could be taking a blessing from someone else. God, save me from my selfish arrogant attitude.
I have the hardest time with saying NO, and then I say yes to all these things which in turn is me saying NO to my family, to spending time with God. I hope that makes sense.
Who doesn’t need this book!!!! Oh my word I need it bad!!!! Is No really a word??? Help!!!! 😉
I would love a copy of this book not just for me but for my 13yo that has a problem with saying “no”. Neither of us is good at saying “no” when we really want or need to.
Frazzled momma of 4. I want this so I know I’m not crazy 🙂 and help with learning to handle hard situations to build their character.
I need this book because I have a need to please until the “pleasing” hurts me. What I ”need” is to ”please” me. 🙂
Thanks for the give-a-way !
~Tami~
Wow… I need this book it more ways than one. Schedule overload and can’t ever say “No” to any one. Folks know if they ask I will do whatever. I need this book to help me learn to say “No”…
Big changes in our household are taking place. I’m home schooling our 6th grade daughter and will be quitting my job. This will totally rearrange our schedules. I pray with new obligations and more flexibility we can still seek God’s will for each momemt.
I am 55 years old and in a desert, never mind that I also live in a desert.
Like the drought in Southern Nevada, I am experiencing a spiritual drought.
I want so much to serve our Lord, to witness and minister that I say Yes to EVERYTHING and then burn out quickly.
Because of physical disabilities, it takes forever to recover from my Yes’s (?) yesses?
I would so appreciate the wisdom of Lysa on how to choose the Best Yes, for God and for me.
Be blessed and be a blessing.
Thank you for being real and transparent. It’s nice to know I’m not alone in my moments of craziness.
I need to learn what to say no to at work. At the office, in a way, there is an unspoken competition for whoever takes on the most projects…eventually I got sucked into it, but hundreds of unread emails, non-stop deadlines if not for one project, then for 3 others, constant meetings hang over me like a cloud of pressure and subconscious stress. I even now dream of actually ‘getting things done’ or planning the next day at work, while I sleep. Needless to say, I wake up quite worn out 🙂 Also, another biggie is a spirit of discernment of when and to what say yes in my personal life…which gets overridden also by work-stuff all the times in the past year or so…
I guess, I too, need to learn that just because I say ‘no’ to something, does not necessarily make me a less contributing colleague or a bad person. 🙂
I can relate very well. It is not because of my choice, it is because of job demand. I really need help and wisdom; I believe this book will give me lots of insights to make decision wisely.
It seems like I am always busy, but not much gets done! Looking forward to reading this book!
I believe this book will help me to make wiser decisions with how I spend my time instead of wasting it for things that don’t matter in the long run. Thank you for the opportunity to win this book!
This books looks to be an awesome tool. I am learning the hard way that it is better to do a few things well than a lot of things mediocre. I believe saying “no” can become part of my vocabulary. My desire is to give God my best and in order to accomplish that I am starting each morning by being still and asking God to prioritize my day.
I think I need to read this book especially since one of my weaknesses is saying No to people. Don’t want to let them down or upset them but then I end up hurting my family when I do this. My husband is a pastor and sometimes we put the church first before our own family.
Can I relate?!! Let me count the ways-LOL!!! Would LOVE to read it!!! Thanks 4 sharing 😉
I would like to have this book to give to a coworker. I have been trying to encourage her to spend quiet time with God, to rely on Him to get her though. She is a single mom and works full time. She has struggled with finances and a very busy schedule. I think this book would be good for her to learn that she doesn’t’ always have to say yes to everything her daughter wants. She has recently signed up for the daily devotional through proverbs 31.
Your post was right on about the “disease to please.” It is in my nature to always try to help out when needed. It is time to start taking time to spend some quality time with the Lord and to order my days according to His schedule. I would enjoy reading this book, knowing it will give me “The Best Yes!”
I need this book. I care for a mom with dementia and also facilitate a Bible study, teach children’s ss, volunteer several places and am always getting asked to do other things since I don’t “work”. Need to learn to choose the best yes and no for others.
One of the biggest causes of stress, anxiety, depression & phobias in my life WAS my need to become the “ringleader of every circus in town.” JESUS CHRIST set me free of the need to please & the inability to say “NO!” THE CHAINS ARE GONE – PRAISE GOD! I learned I was created to please ONLY ONE. Today came with several opportunities to stumble, BUT GOD is my strength & my portion. HE ALONE dictates my every step. Use knowledge, insight, discernment & wisdom to decide TODAY who your drummer is – you’ll be marching to his beat. #TheBestYes
I am a people pleaser too 🙂 It’s very hard for me to say No to things, but I am learning… Cannot wait to read this book!!
It seems like it’s easier for me to say yes to people and in doing that sometimes I’m saying no to God. I want to learn how to listen to God and ask Him before I make decisions. Just because whatever it is may seem right to me at the time it may not be the choice God wants me to make. A lot of times if I’m not busy then I think I’m not doing what God wants me to do or that I’ve got to be doing all these things to please God but that’s not what it’s about. It’s about me having a relationship with God and I want a deeper closer more intimate relationship with God. I want to know Him like He knows me.
I would love to get a copy of this book. As a homeschooling mom who has had a series very difficult situations occur in my life, I am now working part time and
Going back to school full time. I still find it hard to say no, even though just reviewing my schedule would be overwhelming to anyone. But it’s still tough.
Hello, Micca. Thank you for this really beautiful message. I would love to have this book because I need to read about when to say yes and if it is necessary. I have been overwhelmed with everything in my life because there is always something happening. Sometimes it is hard to say no but I need to read the book and learn what is really important and what is not. This book will realy encourage me! Have a wonderful evening and have a very blessed weekend! <3
I’d love to win this book to gain perspective on how to balance the demands of life and ministry! A parsonage can get crazy!