5 Steps Toward Mending Your Broken Heart

One reason God sent Jesus to Earth was to bind up the wounds of the broken-hearted. Since healing broken hearts made the list of Jesus’ earthly ministry, I assume there must have been a great need of comfort before His arrival. I was right which doesn’t happen often. I didn’t have to look far to find the first broken heart. Eve. She was the first mother to grieve over the first death, her son.

In our society, being first is a high honor. Everyone want to be “first” to win the race, make the grade or gain the prize for eating the most hotdogs. Well, it’s rewarding for some. Still, no one signs up to experience the first crushed heart.

Unfortunately, broken hearts didn’t stop with Eve. Every person on the face of the earth has experienced the kind of suffocating pain that takes your breath away. Still, when our hearts are shattered into a thousand pieces, God is there. He longs to heal our hurts. Our job is to take our pain to God.

1. Healing begins when we turn to God with our emotions.

One of our go-to emotions is anger. Talking to God about our anger instead of acting on it keeps us from do things we regret later. Confessing our anger also prevents bitterness from taking root in our hearts. Let’s face it. We know bitter people and their disposition doesn’t display a pretty picture. Bitterness stunts our spiritual growth. And, as long as anger rules our hearts we’ll never reach our potential in Christ or our divine destination. Why? Because a heart of anger leaves no room for love. And we are called to love one another.

When I’ve been hurt by someone, I’ve learned to ask God to fill my heart with love for that person instead of hate. That sounds hard, I know, but I challenge you to do this.

Whenever we ask God to so something according to His will, (and we know loving others is His will for our lives) He answers those prayers! It may take some time, but don’t give up!

 2. Next, we must seek to forgive.

Those words are difficult to swallow when we’d like to claw the eyeballs out of the person who has caused us incredible pain. Am I alone here?

When trust is broken along with our hearts, it feels right to pronounce justice. In our aim to protect ourselves, we tend to think along these lines. “Burn me once and shame one you; Burn me twice and shame on me.” When we recite these words, what we’re saying is this.

“Look, because of my good nature, you were able to take advantage of me and you did. Now, you assume you have limitless chances to achieve it again, but I’ve got news for you. There are no more changes. I won’t allow it.”

With this mentality, we build a wall of protection around us built with bricks of anger, hate and bitterness. While it feels right to safeguard ourselves, we’re not only closing ourselves off from others, but from God.

Forgiveness is the only way to heal your hurt and bring down the wall of resentment in your life. Forgiveness doesn’t mean what someone did to you is right. It’s about freeing yourself. Forgiveness is about cleaning your heart of anything that stands between you and your relationship with God. That takes obedience to God’s Word which instructs us to, “forgive others as He has forgiven us” (Matt 6:15). How is that possible? Through obedience. When I’m resistant to forgive, and I choose to obey anyway, my heart will eventually catch up. And I’m better for it.

3. Surviving from grief also involves coming clean of our own sin.

Have you ever had these thoughts about your offender? “I’m right and you’re wrong.” How about, “I would never do what you did?” These assumptions are build on pride. They cause us to think more highly of ourselves than others. This is not God’s plan.

God has called us to humble living and the realization of– if it were not for His grace, we may commit the same act. The bible speaks to this truth. “So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful you do not fall” (1 Cor 10:12).

When we confess our pride and walk in humility we’re more likely to extend grace to others. Do they deserve it? Maybe not. But neither do we, and yet, God pours out His grace on the godly and ungodly.

Once we select to lay down our pride, God is able to bring wholeness to our hearts and our souls.

 4. Next, ask God to heal you.

It’s one thing to know God can and is willing to make you whole. It’s another to ask for it, and then, allow Him to work. I had to lay down my desire to get even, take things into my own hands and trust God for justice before peace replaced my pain.

Remember God is close to the broken hearted. He came to bind up our wounds. It is by His strips we are healed. I had to get out of the way and let God be God. He has promised us justice. The battle is His so let Him do the battling as you rest in His care.

5. Finally, comfort others who are hurting.

God allows sorrow in our lives so that we can empathize with the sufferings of others. We’ve been there. We know the depth of the wound that feels as if it will never heal and we can offer hope.

The more we reach out to our friends, family and neighbors with our story and God’s healing power, we not only encourage them, but we mend ourselves and God gets all the glory.

You may not be there yet. That’s okay. Keep applying these steps and know that someone who has been where you are is praying for you today–me.