August 28, 2008

12 Ways to Pray for Your Child’s Future Mate

My eldest son is twenty-two. While he’s not thinking of marriage, I am. He doesn’t realize how quickly you can fall in love—and with anybody that you spend enough time with.

I’ve always prayed for my children’s spouses, however, lately I’ve found myself praying for his mate more than ever. I know how important it is to have the right mate, and as his mom, I want nothing less.

As an infant, my son lost his dad and I my husband. Many prayed for me. They prayed that I would be protected from the wrong spouse until the right one came along. And eventually, he did! I believe prayer works. I believe as parents, we should begin early praying for our children’s spouses.

Naturally, a primary prayer for a future son- or daughter-in-law would be for him or her to enter into a personal relationship with God through Jesus Christ. Here is a list of 12 other things we can pray. Any of these items can be prayed for children of either sex.

1. Help my child’s spouse to remain a virgin. Guard him/her from “outer-course” (petting experiences); abuse; harassment; and pornographic content in music, photographs, and movies (Col. 3:5).

2. Make my daughter’s spouse a man after God’s own heart, a maturing Christian who can take a spiritual leadership role that encourages my daughter toward deeper spiritual growth (Eph. 5:25-28).

3. Develop in my child’s mate a desire to seek and ask forgiveness when wrong from both God and man (1 Jn. 1:8-9).

4. Show my daughter’s spouse do what you want him to do with his life. Help him to seek your purpose for his creation (1 Tim. 4:12).

5. Teach my child’s spouse the basics of spiritual warfare, how to flee temptation, how to take thoughts captive, and how to stand firm against the devil’s schemes (1 Pet. 5:8-9, 2 Cor. 10:3-5, Jas. 4:7-8).

6. Help my child’s spouse to become a master of good, uplifting communication. Protect him/her from foul language and angry response (Col. 3:8).

7. Give my child’s spouse deep, satisfying personal relationships that will prepare him/her for marriage without compromising his purity (1 Thess. 4:3-8).

8. Teach my child’s spouse to be a good parent. Give his/her parents good parenting skills, and, if not, provide him with a godly role model. Be the Father to the fatherless if he has no father (Ps. 68:5-6).

9. Give my child’s spouse a hunger for God through prayer and Bible study (Mt. 13:23).

10. Help my child’s spouse to make a commitment to the truth, to choose honesty in every situation, even when tempted to lie to lessen punishment or consequences (Eph. 4:25).

11. Give my child’s spouse a proper attitude toward money in giving, receiving, and working. Help him/her learn how to budget, save, and tithe (1 Tim. 6:6-11).

12. Make my child’s spouse considerate and sensitive, a giving, loving Christian who can place others needs before his/her own without losing his/her personal identity (1 Jn. 3:16-18).

10,000 blessings!!

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  1. Those are great, Micca, and many of them had never even entered my mind. One thing I’ve always prayed for my children’s spouses is that they would be natural, easy members of our family. I got that line from the movie Emma.

    I think in-law relationships are so important to the health of a marriage. I’ve never had that natural, easy relationship with my in-laws and I’m sure my husband would say the same about my family, but I desire it for my children and their spouses. I want to feel like their spouses are my extra children and not strangers that just happen to be married to my kids. I also pray that my children will fit easily into their spouse’s family too.

  2. Thanks for that great insight, Bonita!

    I, too, want my children’s mates to feel like family and vise versa. I will add it to my list!

    I hope others will also contribute how they pray for their children!

  3. Micca,
    I love that you provided Scripture references next to the things that you pray for your children's spouses.

    I pray most of the things that you have mentioned, (the "petting" part I hadn't thought to pray for before.) I also pray that my children and their spouses would love & respect one another unconditionally and that their spouses would bring love and laughter into their households. Merry hearts add such warmth to a home.

    Bonita, I also pray for in-law relationships. I never felt "a part" of my husband's family until I gave birth to our first child.

    Blessings to you both!

  4. WOW!!! These are great! Thanks so much for sharing…
    I have a feeling this will become part of my rocking Ella to sleep/bedtime prayer time!!! :)

  5. Micca: I have printed this out as a prayer guide. Thank you for sharing what God has put on your heart as a mama. :)

    Our cherubs are still quite young (8 and 6), but this summer we did a little study with a small group of their friend and parents called “Planting Seeds of Purity in Young Hearts” based on books by Jennie Bishop.

    Praying along with you!
    Warm blessings,

  6. Wonderful prayer focus. It makes me wonder…

    what do my parents pray for me now, at 42? Do they still pray for me? I’m sure they do, but this has got me thinking about their prayers for me over the years.

    I do pray for my children, daily. Not always the same kind of prayers. Days are exactly that…daily days that require a daily dose of lovin’ prayers. Thanks, Micca, for your continuing leadership on your blog. I don’t get here as often as I would like, but I’m always blessed.

    Oh, and about that woman backing up into your car…you know…the accident that was your fault? I’m pretty sure she’s related to the man who hit my car last year!

    Oh, and about your upcoming speaking schedule? I’m pretty sure we’re both related to the Father who’s going to see you through it all. Isn’t He simply worth the time and the boast?!

    How I love Him.


  7. I would love to print this out! I have prayed for my children’s spouses all of their life, but I have failed to cover this much ground and get so specific. Thanks for sharing this!!


  8. I am also going to print this out and place it on my frig! Not only will it help me when I pray, but hopefully, my kids will read it and know that they are being covered in prayer and that God is working in their lives in a powerful way to protect and guide their futures! Love and blessings,
    Tammy Nischan

  9. Just realized my first post did not lead to my “real blog.” Thanks again for the great prayer list…I am really looking forward to incorporating into my prayer life.

  10. I use Colossians 1:9-10 to pray for my children and their future spouses. The prayer goes all the way to verse 14, but I especially use those first two verses. When my daughter was contemplating dating a young man, I told her to pray this for both of them, because God will NOT answer a prayer negatively that is in the center of His will. And to pray these attributes into my children and their future spouses is a great privilege.

  11. I want to testify to the fact that praying for your children’s spouses while the child is growing up does make such a difference. My son and daughter are both grown with wonderful families of their own. But most importantly they both married ‘lovers of God’! If I had chosen my son or daughter ‘in-love’ I could never have done as well as God has done.

    I am quite a bit older than most of you ‘bloggers’ and I can’t encourage you enough to faithfully pray for your future ‘in-loves’!

  12. First of all, you can’t possibly be old enough to have a 22 year old child! Oh, my word! These suggestions were great, Micca! I do pray for the future spouses of my boys on a weekly basis, but I don’t pray as specifically as this–I’ll be using these scriptures! Thanks so much!

  13. Thanks for this list Micca! I am going to print it out and stick it in my Bible. Even though my son is only 3 at the time, it is never too early to begin praying about this!

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