God is doing a work in the hearts of those reading this series. He want’s to do a work in your heart too. Will you let Him?
The process of overcoming grief is a step-by-step process. No two people handle it the same nor grieve at the same pace. Some move at a quicker speed while others seem to get stuck in one place. While there is no time line of going through the process, you must continue to move forward. If you are having trouble getting past a certain stage, seek help. Talk with your pastor or a professional counselor. There is light at the end of the tunnel.
Turning to Substance Abuse and Other Unhealthy Avenues
Unfortunately, Melany’s mom sought unhealthily avenues for comfort. She turned to alcohol and prescription drugs to sooth the pain of her son’s death. Did this bring relief to her broken heart? No. Instead, this mother became mentally ill. Don’t allow your sorrow to take you to a place you never intended to go. There is hope and healing found through professional help.
Substance abuse only numbs the pain providing a temporary escape. There are many ways to ignore heartache. Some stay busy. Others work longer hours or pick up a new hobby. Then there are those who simply remain in denial refusing to admit their feelings. These are all unnatural ways to deal with grief. The outcome is false. Emotions buried alive never die. You may look and act as if you’ve come to the end of the grieving process when the reality is you’re stuck. Once the high is gone, the work is done, or the project is complete, the pain returns.
Tell God Your Needs
Your heart cry may be the same as the Psalmist? “How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and everyday have sorrow in my heart? How long will my enemy triumph over me?” (Psalms 13:2). If you are wondering how long your suffering will last, don’t question it in silence. Don’t numb your hurt with activity or work. Choose to move on. You cannot go back and you cannot remain in your grief. You have to go forward. And the Lord is your helper. You may feel as if God is far away from you right now. You may think He doesn’t care, but nothing is further from the truth. “The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalms 34:18). Tell God what you need saving from. Do you need saving form your sorrow, or do you need saving from anger, fear or loneliness? God is as close to you as a whisper. Tell Him. He is listening. Your loving Father will meet you in your pain, take you by the hand and lead you through.
Be honest with yourself. Are you moving forward or are you stuck in your pain?
What steps can you take to help you move forward? Is it time to seek counsel?
Have you been tempted to seek unhealthy ways of coping?
Tell God what you need saving from. He’s listening. So am I. I’d love to pray for you.
Angie P says
Mica – Praise be to God for leading me to your blog today. My first time here. Thank you for your message of hope. My hurt is so intense today and yet I have faith that God is with me, with my husband, with our children. My husband is currently in a psych ward for mental health and substance abuse (4th time in year.) My prayer for my husband is that he welcomes God into his heart and will allow His healing hand to lift him out of his pit of hurt & pain. We both need saving from fear, anger, bitterness & resentment. I can feel God’s presence in my life as I walk this painful journey but I also can feel & see Satan’s pull both in myself and in my husband. I would greatly appreciate your prayers. Thank you & God Bless You
Katrina W. says
Micca, I found your blog just by chance, was checking if Lisa Terkursts was going to be in our area soon. I want say THANK YOU for putting this site together. Reading your blog gave me chills and tears streaming down my face. God deffinitely is talking through u to those greiving. We just lost my FIL on Dec 15. Seeing my husband (35) going through what i’ve been through is so difficult. I lost my Mom not even 5 years ago from ALS, 3 babies to miscarriage, loss of grandparents, and my own Father drowned when I was 3. My initial thoughts is “Why, God Again Why?” I’m going through the Anger stage now. Questioning how I can be strong for my husband when I am so weak. I know through my losses the Lord has strengthened me. He will bring us through this. Its just so tough going through it yet again. Especially through Christmas and the New Year. Sad to read others have been in simular shoes but oh how refreshing it is to know your not alone. Thanks!