I’m so excited about tonight! My husband, Pat and I are hosting a marriage event. It’s not your ordinary marriage event where you have to drag your spouse along. No! They want to come because it’s all about fun! Okay, there’s a pinch of biblical substance added to the mix. If you want a long lasting, loving marriage centered on Christ, you have to share His theology. Besides, He did event marriage.
The event is called, The Speed Date Challenge. No, that doesn’t mean you go home with another spouse. That activity falls under a different name. Ahem…
Anyway, the evening goes like this. Couples sit at long tables across from another couple. The host, (Pat and me) proposes a question such as, “What attracted you to your spouse?” A funny movie clip is shown to jog the memory and get the conversations going after the question is stated. The couples then have 15 minutes to discuss and/or share their answers. After 15 minutes of discussion, the bell sounds ending this round.
Speed dating also provides a great opportunity for couples to meet others as well. After the bell rings, one side of the table moves to the right while the other side remains seated. Now, each couple is sitting in front of a new couple and it’s time for the second question. This process continues through five questions. Afterwards, we share desert and fellowship.
Sound like fun? Others thought so too. We’re sold out!
Some of what we’ll discuss is…
Expectations: When you were first married, did you have expectations? Of course you did! I did too. I expected my spouse to make me happy and fulfill my every need. He expected GREAT sex. We were both disappointed. We quickly learned that we had some real and some unreal expectations about marriage. Talking them through enabled us to determine what expectations we kept and which ones we tossed out.
What about differences—can you believe how different your man is from youself? Sometimes I wonder how on earth my spouse and I ever got together. But the truth is, those differences that annoy me now are the qualities that first attracted me to my husband. Why—because the traits that attracted me to him were the traits that I lacked—and vice versa.
Tom Cruise may have thought he coined the phrase, “you complete me,” but actually, God did. God uses our difference to complete us. He brought me and my spouse together to balance us out—to fill in the gaps—to sharpen us and make us better than we were before.
Finally, we can’t forget about fighting. Every couple does it. But how do you fight? Are you a “fight to win” person who wins at all cost! A fight to win person dominates. They take no prisoners. Or, are you a withdrawer? Withdrawer’s avoid discomfort. They practice the silent treatment. Or perhaps you’re a Yielder. A Yielder goes along with the other person’s demand. To you a safe felling is more important. Basically, you’re a weak kneed yellow belly.
No matter how you fight, the goal is to reach a loving resolve. That requires a special attitude—one of humility. Loving resolve seeks to place the relationship at a higher priority than the conflict itself. That requires forgiveness. Or, you can take my husband’s advice. He thinks if the wife fights naked, the husband would give in every time. (This technique has yet to be tested in my house.)
Now that you’ve read God’s principles for a great marriage, you’re stuck. You only have two choices. You can remain the way you are or you can practice these principles and build a long lasting, loving, Christ centered marriage! …and when you succeed, then you can celebrate with GREAT sex!
Meghan says
My husband and I are currently struggling in our marriage, (like I think many others are as well) I love this idea. I love what you said about how God brought us together to balance us out! I truly feel this describes my husband and I. Our differences are definately one of our challenges but also one of the best things about our marriage.
Thank you for this message today!
Barb Wall says
Dear Micca!!! This sounds so much fun!! I wish I could go–oh wait I don’t have a husband–he would have loved it too!!! Great idea have fun!!! Blessings,Barb
Michele Caséca says
Micca,
You are the funniest godly woman I have ever met! As I read your post it seemed you were talking to me… I could even hear your jokes and feel your sense of humor! I love you dear sister!
Well, I will get married in 4 months, so I have no experience in marriage, but I would love to participate just to see how much I know about my loving fianceé.
Thank you for sharing this.
Sweet Blessings,
Michele Caséca
Pat Layton says
Love this Micca! My honey and I just celebrated 35 years! Oh my. Only God 🙂
Tough times but i wouldn’t change it for the world. God has done great things in us!
Have fun with your group,
Blessings,
pat
Rachel says
Hello Micca, I’ve just discovered your ministry. From what I’ve seen so far it looks like God is doing some awesome work through you by empowering you to change lives and inspire young and older women.
I request that you pray for me because I am going through a “lust” situation and It really upsets me. I also grew up around pornography and I struggle with it at the moment, please also pray for that to be removed from my thoughts/heart and life so it doesn’t affect my present and future. When I was young I couldn’t control being brought up in the home I was.
Much appreciated,
Thank you all.. God bless